We can no longer use the past to excuse behavior in the present! 

No matter what our past experiences were, how troublesome our childhood was, or what failures we have experienced in previous jobs, new experience can create new neural circuitry in the brain and override existing patterns. Even after years of troubled relationships, self- destructive behaviors, or the inability to assert ourselves in relationships or at work, we still have the capacity to become the people we are meant to be.

 

Your brain is capable of changing from emotionally driven, automatic, survival

behaviors, to new patterns of behavior by forming new pathways in the brain. You

can reprogram your self-defeating and self-limiting behaviors, and your automatic

negative thoughts, and self-limiting behaviors. You can attain a new level of self-awareness, emotional management and self-determination. 

Each year, billions of dollars are spent on employee development, yet 62% of businesses report that they are without the skills they need to grow and succeed. It was estimated by the American Society for Training and Development that U.S. organizations spent nearly $78.61 billion on the internal learning function, and the remainder ($47.27 billion) was allocated to external services. 

Despite employees attending training sessions in record numbers, these reports also indicate that those billions do not always improve the workplace because the skills often do not transfer to the actual job. When staff members fail to apply what they were meant to learn, organizational leaders are frustrated by the obvious ineffectiveness of these costly training initiatives.

Although leaders in organizations want to develop their people and are willing to invest in them, they are puzzled when employees do things the same way as before their training. In addition, leaders and employees who want to develop are frustrated when they cannot use what they have learned during their training. 

Our research shows that more time is spent considering workshop content than whether employees will be able to implement new learning once the training is over. Although most leaders believe that once you learn something you should change your behavior, development requires the conscious application and repetition of new skills over time. 

It also requires that any emotional barriers to learning are addressed. In addition, how we feel about our learning experiences and our ability to keep using new skills when we feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to try are key factors to the success of learning.

Few trainers and educators understand how the brain develops and what it actually takes to create new habits of mind. Often it includes changing emotionally driven behaviors and unconscious habits of mind that get in the way of development and behavioral change. Although we love to learn about how to improve and develop ourselves, taking in such information is a passive activity, and actually changing our behavior is an experiential one. Based on an integration of the latest findings in brain development and century-old personality type theory, we now understand that these two activities are governed by different areas of the brain.

As humans, we are meant to develop. However, we are likely to continue to waste billions annually when we do not expect those tasked with our development to understand the mechanics of our mind, how our brains develop, and how emotions get in the way of successful implementation of new learning. By looking at some common beliefs about training, you are better prepared to set up the circumstances for sustainable development to happen.

Employee and leadership development programs should be thought of as personal because employees are–first and foremost–persons. Performance and capability are ultimately dependent not only on what people know and can do, but also on how they feel, their attitudes, their levels of emotional maturity, and their psychological needs. The personality of the employee and how his or her brain is wired affects how the employee will engage in the learning process.

Finally, programs need to change from cognitive- and information-driven approaches in a workshop or training session to ongoing, experiential learning activities that engage the emotions of the employees positively in various settings, including the workplace. If these critical pieces are left out of training and development efforts, organizational leaders will continue to be frustrated and workers are unlikely to reach their full potential. And loss of potential translates to losses for the bottom line.

As former General Electric CEO Jack Welch once declared, “If you’re not thinking all the time about making every person more valuable, you don’t have a chance. What’s the alternative? Wasted minds? Uninvolved people? A labour force that’s angry or bored? That doesn’t make sense.”

Have you ever experienced the frustration of trying to get things done with a leader who avoids making decisions and getting involved? Or a leader who regularly tolerates poor performance?

Indecisive or, as we like to call them, Avoidant Leaders are focused on productivity and the needs of the business. They are self-directed, highly functional and independent. They know what they want to achieve and do extremely well when working on their own. They can be in a senior role in an organization or are a successful entrepreneur.

Yet with all their success, the Avoidant Leader tends to abdicate authority to others and avoids making decisions.

They don’t get involved with their employees unless they have to and will work behind a closed door. They may present an attitude that says “I am so busy, don’t bother me” or meet employee requests with annoyance in their voice. They don’t realize that their failure to address underperformance issues alienates high performers while their fear of making wrong decisions impedes those who are dependent on their leadership.

So how do you survive this dysfunctional leadership style? Here are 3 helpful tips:

Don’t react to their behaviour. Strong emotional reactions will cause Avoidant Leaders to withdraw further so respond, don’t react.

Make the Cost of Avoidance clear. Step into his shoes and try to understand what he or she really cares about. That way you can show that what he wants to accomplish is at risk.

Ask for what you need. Ask for what you need and avoid harshly detailing what's wrong with them in doing so.

This post was co-written by Anne Dranitsaris, Ph. D. & 

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EIGHT INNATE NEEDS & ASSOCIATED FEARS

~ SHIFTING OUR AUTOMATIC RESPONSE~

Our behavior changes when our innate fear is

being triggered, whether we are aware of it or

not. Fear pushes us into the emotional part of our

brain, leaving us at the mercy of our impulses and

unconscious habits of mind that have been hard‐

wired into our brain through our conditioning

and experiences.

The following are the eight distinct psychological

fears as well as the key impact on your behavior.

By understanding the motivation and need

attached to the fear, we can stop acting out of the

fear.

‐ Innate Need: To Be In Control

~ Associated Fear: Feeling Helpless or Powerless

‐ Innate Need: To Be Knowledgeable

~ Associated Fear: Being Inferior

‐ Innate Need: To Be Recognized

~ Associated Fear: Shame

‐ Innate Need: To Be Perceptive

~ Associated Fear: Disconnection

‐ Innate Need: To Be Connected

~ Associated Fear: Abandonment

‐ Innate Need: To Be Creative

~ Associated Fear: Assimilation

‐ Innate Need: To Be Spontaneous

~ Associated Fear: Loss of Freedom

‐ Innate Need: To Be Secure

~ Associated Fear: The Unknown

Learn more about your needs so you can overcome your fear. 

~ KNOWING OUR INNATE FEARS~

The truth is that most of us just don’t understand

our own needs, fears, and habits of mind very

well, so we sabotage ourselves by living life at

less than full throttle. We let our fear define and

decide what experiences we will have and what

we will say, because we are afraid of stirring up

emotions in others or ourselves. Over time, we

may accept this compromise as living, when,

unknown to us, all we are really doing is living

life on autopilot and trying not to rock the boat.

Our innate fears are varied. They are based on

our strongest motivations (striving energies) and

their associated psychological needs. We are

conditioned to judge our fears rather than to

examine them and ask ourselves the purpose of

the feeling. Only through understanding the

motivation and need attached to the fear, can we

stop acting out of the fear.

EVERYONE HAS FEARS, JUST LIKE EVERYONE HAS

NEEDS. THEY ARE INSTINCTUAL, BIOCHEMICAL

EVENTS THAT OCCUR IN THE BRAIN WHETHER WE

WANT TO THEM TO OR NOT (OR WHETHER WE

BELIEVE IT OR NOT!).

Research shows that as much as 80% of what we

fear never happens. Yet, we allow our lives to be

deeply affected because of the scary stories we

tell ourselves. Fear, not desire or passion, is the

strongest emotional motivator we have. This

means that when we have a choice to do what we want,

which frightens us vs. to do what we know and is

safe, we will opt for safety letting fear win out.

Whether we are experiencing mild anxiety or

terror, fear‐based emotions cause us to behave in

ways that ensure our physical and psychological

survival. We accept our physical fears much more

easily than we do our psychological ones because

we are taught that our fears make us weak.

Coming soon.